When you first begin dating someone it is exciting and passionate. You want to spend every waking moment together and your focus is 100% on your partner. For better or for worse, your world revolves around one another. And then you get married, and maybe you have kids, and suddenly your world is a chaotic mess where you desperately try to juggle your work, your family and your sanity. When you get into bed at night you may be too tired to catch up about your day, let alone be intimate. Relationships evolve over time, that is unavoidable, but you cannot forget why you got together in the first place—before the kids.
To save your relationship—yes that same relationship that used to give you a nervous bellyache and make you smile uncontrollably—you need to take care not just of your family, but also of each other. It starts by re-committing to your marriage, and one of the best ways to do that is side-by-side with a healthy pour of wine and an even healthier serving of conversation. We are talking about date night. No kids, no emails and no chit chat about the upcoming parent teacher conferences at school. It is a night dedicated to you, as a couple, where you can reconnect. Here are 12 reasons why a weekly date night for couples might just save your marriage.
- Breaks Monotony
It gets you out of the house and away from your day-to-day duties. It is easy to get a little lazy at the end of the day, but staying home and sticking to your typical night time routine won’t help you strengthen your relationship, it will only get you stuck in a rut. A date night for married couples allows you to get out of the house and to carve out a time and place where you do not discuss your kids or your chores and you instead focus on each other.
- Good old days
Whether you try a new restaurant or you visit one of your old haunts, enjoying a date night can take you back to a simpler time before you had kids and before you had to deal with stress from work or in-laws. You can just enjoy each other’s company and remember what it was like to be a new couple, dating and bonding for the first time.
- Focus on each other
A date night, away from your routine, away from your iPad and away from other people, can force you to focus only on the person sitting next to you or across from you. For a few hours you are not worried about whether or not your kids are eating a good dinner or if your boss is going to give you a hard time tomorrow. In that moment it is all about you and your partner.
Sometimes after years of marriage you might find that while you do love each other, you don’t really know if you like each other any more. Love and like are different things. Do you still enjoy spending time together? In order to discover that part of your relationship—the part where you actually like each other—you need to set aside time that you spend together. Cue the weekly date night for married couples.
- Get dressed up!
In life there are various reasons to put on nice clothes, but how often do you get dressed up for each other? We’re not talking about putting on a new dress for work or a new pair of shoes to go to a friend’s wedding. That is simply getting dressed. We are talking about making an effort to look nice for your spouse. It will not only make you feel good, but it will make your spouse feel good to know that you still want their attention and affection.
- Adult Time
A date night for couples allows you to get excited for a night where you do not have to talk about homework or bottles or the class bully.
Date nights will give you a break from the normal cooking and cleaning up dishes which will help you relax. A home-cooked meal can be delicious, but it’s also a lot of work. And don’t even get us started on the cleanup. Show me someone who claims to enjoy doing the dishes and I’ll show you a liar. On a date night you get to go out, you let someone else do your cooking and you definitely let someone else do the cleaning.
- Special Evenings
Going on a date is fun, but sometimes planning the date is equally exciting. Remember when you used to try to surprise one another? Date night is a chance to go back to that time, when you both enjoyed making an effort to keep your partner happy. Take turns planning a surprise date; we promise it will be worth the extra time and effort.
- Sharing Experiences
Think about all of your highlights from the past few months. If every item on your list of fun activities involved your kids, you need to get out more. Date night is a chance to try new pastimes together and maybe even discover new, shared interests that you can do as a couple moving forward. You can take a cooking class, a dance lesson, a fitness class or you can go to a sporting event, a theatrical production or a concert. Whatever you choose, try something that neither of you have done before and get ready to let loose together.
- Create new memories
When you find fun things to do together, then not only will you enjoy the moment and grow and laugh together, but you’ll also create lasting memories as a team.
- Double Dates
First things first: you must commit to dating each other and spending time together, as a couple, without other distractions. Once you are comfortable with your date night routine then you can spice up your date nights by sometimes getting together with other couples and friends. It can be nice to interact as a couple as you make new friends or reconnect with old ones. But remember, no kids are allowed at date night. You are welcome.
- Lively Relationship
Life can get crazy. Sometimes your schedule may be chaotic, your kids may drive you bonkers, your job may be stressful and you will be exhausted. It’s important to have something to look forward to when your day gets tough, and date night can do just that: give you an escape that will make all the other things seem a little bit easier to deal with.